If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize