woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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