He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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