She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize