At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
