For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
