so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
