how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
