Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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