Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
