dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
