is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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