question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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