WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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