I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
