to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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