You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
