ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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