so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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