I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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