I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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