i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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