The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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