My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
