apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wish you could order shots online.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I understand Curling. That high.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
