i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
