That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
