Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
