Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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