I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
