Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize