I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
