I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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