the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
