The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
