I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
