It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
