I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
