Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
