My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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