What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
