so that wasnt chicken after all
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
