i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
