You work out of a Hotel?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
