Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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