You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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