i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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