Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
