I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
