in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
