coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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