Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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