mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
