should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
