I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
