Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
