absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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