yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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