my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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