Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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