with your own penis?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
