yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
