I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
