I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
